Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
