i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize