who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
