I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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