I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
