her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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