It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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