how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
do nipples grow back?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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