No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
