Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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