Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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