so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
