u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
