He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
