eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
