you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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