That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
