FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
