I want to walk on stilts...naked
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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