Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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