...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
