yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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