At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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