I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
