she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
