I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
