Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
