His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
