where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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