Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
