u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
