I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
