She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
