I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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