You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
