It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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