I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
