would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
