is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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