It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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