Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
