Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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