This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
