I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't turn off my feet"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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