I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
