I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
