His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
