our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
