Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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