I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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